018 - The Gift of Mulligans - With David Morris

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML

Subscribe

About 

Dave has traveled to over 30 countries to share his message of failing to win and the importance of giving second chances to your peers.

Resources

Dave@thegiftofmulligans.com
www.giftofmulligans.com 

Show Notes

Josh Tapp 0:00
What's up everybody? Josh Tapp here again and welcome back to the lucky Titan podcast. So today I brought Dave Morris on the mic to share with us about the book he's about to launch called the gift of Mulligan's. Dave's here to share with us today, how we have to fail in order to win, how to demonstrate failure to your employees, and how to offer the gift of Mulligan's in your business to yourself. So we're here today to talk about those things. And Dave, let's hop right in. All right, Dave. So tell us one thing about yourself that most people don't know.
David Morris 0:30
Well, many years ago, I was thrown in jail in a small South American country for a little over 12 hours. arrested a machine gun point. Like, yeah, I was an exchange student. And they told us an orientation Don't lose your passports keep them in a safe place. So a safe place was in a drawer buried under clothes and frat house where we were living Right and two of us were wandering around the presidential palace in Quito, Ecuador. And next thing you know, we did machine guns pointing her face, we couldn't produce passports, they threw us in jail. And it took till took till after 10 o'clock that night before they could track down the director of that foreign exchange program who had certified copies of our visas.
Josh Tapp 1:24
Right. So, man, and you're sitting there freaking out, and they're going to be here, the rest of my life is over. You hear those horror stories about that where people are there, they die in prison in a foreign country. So that's crazy. Having lived in Mexico for two years, I definitely understand the fear and the machine guns in your face. Right. I love it. Alright, Dave, let's let's let's hop in now. We're going to be talking about your book the gift to mole against today. Okay, so give us a little bit of background on yourself and on the book and how you kind of got into that.
David Morris 1:58
So I've got kind of I click an eclectic background. I worked in credit and finance management, human resource management for a long time. I had an aptitude for the credit stuff, financial analysis, but I really didn't like the you know, the my interaction with people was usually negative because I asked like money from them or I was trying to understand what they might be hiding in their financial statements. Right. And, and so I really felt like I'm more of a people person. I like relationships and and building relationships. And so I kind of moved on and got into sales and sales management. The book was something that was really calling to me for many, many years, again, inspired by somebody who committed suicide our senior year in high school and, and kind of the ramifications of have the fallout of Yeah, obviously his family was affected. acted in ways that that most of us will never understand. But as a group of young people who could have rallied around him, we didn't. Yeah, and so that was kind of a black mark on us and but I opted to tell it is in novel form. So I've written it with, you know, fictitious names and things like that. And, and with a fictitious story for the most part, but with the underlying theme being about, you know, how, how someone who contributed to someone else's demise not overtly, but simply by acquiescence, yeah. And how that person can can go through and figure out a way to find redemption. For for that pretty big mistake as far as human relationships go. And
Josh Tapp 3:55
yeah, can I ask you a follow up question? I'll interrupt you for a second. So was this a personal friend of yours or was he just Somebody in your school and it just
David Morris 4:01
he, he was somebody that I had a class with at least once a year from eighth grade on through senior year sat right next to me that in sixth period, US government class. And he went home on Monday after school and on Tuesday, we found out that, you know, he had taken his own life swallowed a bottle of aspirin. Wow, there was that empty desk as a reminder. Yeah. That while we weren't friends, we could have been friends. Yeah. And I guess that's on me. So I
Josh Tapp 4:38
think that's your first kind of exposure, you know, to to really, you know, how short life could be and seeing that. Okay, well, I mean, what could I have done to exactly solve the problem that's a lot of thoughts go through your head at that point. Sorry, interrupt yet, but I will provide some clarifying. There you go. So the book is has been inspired from that and it's more of a fictitious novel but it's it's about And you know that taking being able to forgive yourself or to forgive others, for example. So, you know, we talked about this a little bit in our pre interview but what how does this apply to businesses? You know, the gift of Mulligan's?
David Morris 5:13
Well, I Well, I've worked in for a living most of my life, I tried my hand at some entrepreneurial activities. I started a publishing company with with a partner and things didn't go real well, I lost a lot of money. felt really bad had ulcers to deal with and that I was trying to support and right and and so so honestly, if we can take the concept of a mulligan in a golf match, and give ourselves a do over a second chance, no penalty, and just recognize that, you know, we're gonna make mistakes in life. We're gonna don't go our way we're gonna lose money or cause someone else To lose money, or whatever, and if we can forgive ourselves as individuals and recognize that it is part of the learning experience, you know, when a baby's learning to walk, they don't just jump right up and start walking, you know, and the first time they fall we don't say, oh, boo, you're terrible. You're don't ever try that again. Right? We encourage them and we coax them and we cheer him and, and it may take weeks for they finally get it right. Yeah, we can do the same thing and in our adult lives it we start out as amateurs, yeah. Anything we do, right. And and we don't always become professionals, but we can become more adept and more, you know, successful at doing things as we practice in practice invariably is going to make, you know, failures, right, you know, fail big, fail fast. Oh, but I don't want to To fail, well, we have to let ourselves fail. And if we can just kind of think in terms of, Okay, I'm going to take a mulligan here. Yeah, dust myself off. I'm going to just try this again. I've learned some things, you know, I, I wasn't lined up properly. Yeah, maybe need to gather more data or I need to do more research on this particular customer that I just lost or chased off or didn't succeed with and, and, and then, you know, to back up and try it again.
Josh Tapp 7:35
Yeah. Well, so for those who aren't golf buffs just to make sure we're 100% clear on that. You're not in professional golf, right.
David Morris 7:44
But not in tournaments. Yeah.
Josh Tapp 7:45
tournament. friendly matches when you're in a friendly match. You mean if you missed the shot, you say, Hey, I'm gonna take them all again. Try it again. You know, and I
David Morris 7:52
love that openly. Yeah. Well, what's what's beautiful Mulligan's a lot, right? I really look for opportunities with my buddies that I'm playing golf with to say, just take another one.
Unknown Speaker 8:06
You can do better than that.
David Morris 8:08
I know you can do better as soon as you better just, you know, we're not gonna count that. Just go ahead. So, yeah, well, what
Josh Tapp 8:14
I love what I love about what you're saying too, and kind of your experience. Yeah, we were talking about how you had your first big business failure, you know, I've done that same thing as well. And what was interesting, I actually heard it was on another person's podcast, they were talking about a statistic that the BLS just released, I think last year. So you know, we all know that 95% of businesses fail, you know, within the first five years, or whatever it is, right? But they've actually done a study it shows that 95% of first businesses fail, but over 80% of second businesses actually survive and succeed. Cool, which is really numbers. I was blown away. So I actually really gotta go check the date on that cuz I was like, That's true.
David Morris 8:54
That's true. That's that's proof of Oregon's working right.
Josh Tapp 8:57
Oh, there you go. And then you can use that in your book. Do a caveat and then you can you can quote me in there. So I love that I think that's super awesome, you know, like being able to step out and do it another business, but I think it's because like you're saying it gives you the opportunity to fail and say, Okay, I know all the things I shouldn't be doing anything.
David Morris 9:16
Right? And maybe it isn't all the things, right enough things now, right? You can take a better run at it the second time.
Josh Tapp 9:25
Yeah. Well, wasn't it Michael Jordan that was I don't even know the exact quote, but he was talking about. He's like, I've missed over 9000 shots in my career and been trusted with a game winning shot X amount of time, but he's like, because of that I went and became the best, you know, and I think that's just epitomizes the concept, you know? And really, when you put it numerically into that, and you say, Wow, like, you really have to fail a lot and you have to bid it's
David Morris 9:52
just a matter of moving forward. What about baseball players, you you fail, seven out of 10 times and wind up in the Hall of Fame. If you can Do that your whole career correct? So,
Josh Tapp 10:03
and anybody who doesn't follow baseball You know, that's that's fine that the sport I guess you is forgiven more than most Right, right. You're not gonna get chewed out for for not hitting the ball every time. I wish I wish other sports are that way. Right. All right, well. So let's talk a little bit about the Mulligan's you know and applying that in business. So how would you apply that?
David Morris 10:27
Well, so let's take a look for a minute. Maybe more of an employer employee situation. Yeah, entrepreneur builds his business up over time. He's gonna hire people to do things that either he or she's not great at, or simply to help do things that that the founder doesn't have the time to do at all because, you know, they've got more customers and, and whatnot. So often, when one of our subordinates makes a mistake, you know, we were really hypercritical, we To him out, we, we make him feel bad, perhaps. And and the reality is we're all learning. We're all progressing. We're all making mistakes, hopefully learning from those mistakes, if we are gracious enough to allow this person to actually be human, and we forgive them, and we can we tell them, you know, we, from the beginning, we set expectations, you know, you're not going to do everything, right, right. And I'm not going to do everything right. And what I'm going to attempt to do is to is to cut you some slack when something goes wrong. And so my plan is, when a mistake happens, I want you to come and tell me about it. I'm going to give you a mode, and then a penalty, there's gonna be no consequences. But But if I find you're hiding things, and not telling me then we're going to have a different conversation, all right, but in that world, that person then different develops in their role with the company. And they actually have more confidence because they can. They're, you know, it's it's it's, I had a basketball coach in high school that you made one mistake and you rippled. Yeah. Everybody was just out there on pins and needles and guess what happened? The mistakes were compounded over and over and over again right and and so again it's it's a mindset of Mulligan's is is one that that says I'm going to allow you to be human. Yeah. And I'm not going to expect 100% perfection out of you and when something goes wrong, I'm going to forgive you and we're going to move on. And the same way that I can apply that to myself so there's taking them all again. Yeah, um, all right.
Josh Tapp 12:49
Well, so I mean, so I don't know if you notice and i i some our listeners, notice I'm doing my MBA currently studying a lot about, you know, that leadership and candor and everything you know, about Magic people. So I'm curious what your perspective is, especially with the years of experience you have, you know, in the corporate realm, what how do you inspire that and other people like in your subordinates to feel like it's okay to fail.
David Morris 13:14
I think you have to you demonstrate it, you talk about it, you trust them, you build them up. my MBA is, gosh, it's turning 29 years old, I think, last year, so next year. So, on the one hand, I could argue that, that it's obsolete, you know, things have changed so much, but yet there are some tried and true principles that will always be true, that will always apply. Yeah, but but as I've built work teams over my career when I, you know, most people don't like to be micromanaged. I mean, there are some exceptions and there are certain jobs that maybe that's required. Yeah, for the most part, we don't like to be micromanaged we. And so if we'll as managers and supervisors if we won't micromanage them, but we'll teach them what the expectations are, and give them opportunities to even find maybe better ways to do the work, then we would have done it ourselves if we sat down into ABCD and do it all in this order. I think another thing is have their back when I was managing a group of language producers. And one of them did a really poor job of on a dubbing project of what he had done there. There are different levels of quality that we're looking for. And most of what he had done was really kind of a shotgun approach. A bunch of You in style, kind of quick down and dirty, not 100% perfect. That's what he delivered to the client. The client was just beside herself. Yeah. And and so I stepped in and basically said, you know, you want to know what this is, this is on me, this is my fault. I assigned someone who had never done this exact type of work before. And I didn't give him clear expectations. Right. What that did for him was I mean, our relationship was good already. But, you know,
Josh Tapp 15:38
the loyalty is gained and
David Morris 15:40
I had his back. Yeah. And he had my back and, and, and, and I think you I try to hire people that are smarter and more talented than I am. And I tried to set them up in such a way that they're going to succeed way beyond what I could have ever done. Right today. Do that I have to be able to give them the confidence to know that I'm gonna, I'm gonna stub my toe, I'm gonna skinned my knee, I'm gonna, I'm gonna knock somebody down, right? It's all gonna be okay. We're gonna, we're gonna move on from that that will, you know, so?
Josh Tapp 16:18
Yeah. Well, I love your example, it kind of made me think about, you know, back in the days where we were boring to survive, right? A lot of times, you'd be off to war, whatever. Have you ever seen The Count of Monte Cristo? Yeah, yeah. So there's a scene in there Where, where? Basically, that the Count of Monte Cristo spares a guy and the guy says, I'm your man forever, right? That loyalty to him and he was and he served him his whole life. And what I love about that, though, is that you know, back in the day, that was how you did it, you know, you saved the life of another person, and they would, you know, the honor and then would say, I owe you my life. And I think in our day where we're not warring, what you just described as you know, that perfect example I mean, you basically put yourself out there and said it was my fault when it clearly I mean, yes, there might have been things you could have done better, but it was clearly his fault, right? And he's not dumb enough to think that it was your fault. He didn't give me clear enough explanations but if you put yourself on the line like that he's he is now yours. Sure. He's gonna be there supporting you and and everything as well. It's I love that. Yep. And I think that's the power of giving you know, those Mulligan's really is is the loyalty that you gain from people.
David Morris 17:30
Sure. And you don't do it to get the loyalty. You do, because it's the right thing to do.
Josh Tapp 17:35
Right?
David Morris 17:37
The result is the loyalty, the, you know, everything that comes with that. So,
Josh Tapp 17:47
and I love that. And I think if you do it to gain loyalty, like you're intentionally doing it, the game loyalty, it kind of has the reverse effect and people like it's false modesty. Right.
David Morris 17:56
Exactly. Exactly. Yeah.
Josh Tapp 17:59
I love that. Well, so we've been talking a lot about, you know, the employee side or, you know, working with somebody. So what about those solopreneurs? I think people who are out there
David Morris 18:11
I don't have any employees. But you know what, the solopreneur has a lot of collaborators, right? It's complimentary service providers, whether it's, you know, you're you're teaming up with a marketing person, or agency and together, you're going to you're going to put together a campaign, right, your livelihoods depend upon that success. And so in that given tick world, I mean, you know, if my wife has spent so we've been married for over 37 years, and the first 15 years of our marriage, every workday when I left, she met me at the door and she said, Remember, honey, people are more important than things. Love that people are more Important things. And because I'm kind of the Type A driven, highly competitive, and pretty easy for her to observe that, that, that I didn't buy into that. And so she had to teach me and so she taught me by word. She, by example, After about 15 years, she would maybe say it only once or twice a week. And then it got to the point where it's just every now and again, and sometimes I'll get that look, it's like, you are off the wagon again. And, and, and so, what I've learned from that, as I've matured as I've and that's another way of saying I'm old, and I've slung way down, I can't get back up anymore, right? So there's no sense picking a fight here. What I've learned is is how valuable how precious relationships are and whether those are personal relationships or business relationships. And once again, if it's You know that solopreneur probably has easily a dozen different people, agencies, companies, whatever that they're collaborating with in order to succeed. And they've got to cut each other's slack. Because if they don't trust each other, they don't, you know, then they don't give their best work and it just doesn't come out. So you've got to be able to forgive yourself. You've got to be able to forgive the other person, you've got to go into the relationship, the business to work in relationship knowing I'm going to screw something up and he's or she's gonna screw something up and the game plan is we're going to be okay, and we're going to rally around it and we're going to, you know, pick ourselves up and knock the dust off and, and move forward. So yeah, so I think this is hugely important, because I've also known a lot of solopreneurs who are the Type A driven competitive have to be right. The other thing my wife always has said is it's better to be nice and to be right. Right? Even if you're right, you wind up offending somebody and you blow the relationship. Yeah. And the relationship could be one giving example week. So my partner and I were meeting with venture capitalists and I had spent a lot a lot of time trying to bring that together and we had not much success we finally got a group that looked like they bought into what we were doing. Everything was great. And as we were walking out the door my partner stood up and they said, well, we'll be back to you really quickly on this we can make fast decisions you know, we're small and lean and and and he said, and then we'll tell you whether or not we need your money. Haha, that right there blew the deal. Oh yeah. I got A phone call from from the guy that I had built a relationship with up at this venture firm. He said, Could you not have put a Muslim? I said, No, I didn't say that. No. And so they own a lot of a lot of entrepreneurs in my day. solopreneurs who and they may be brilliant and often they are emollient, and they are usually right. But there is a way to, you know, to soften that position and still keep relationships.
Josh Tapp 22:33
Yeah, absolutely. Wow. A good example foot in mouth. Just put your foot in his mouth. Then, well, I really like that. I like how you're you're talking about you know, there's always relationships that you're going to have to build but one of the hardest relationships for us to you know, it's really our own right like you said, you're going to forgive yourself and like the Mulligan's. I mean we beat ourselves up so much and like if you self talk The way you talk to other people about those failures, you'd have no friends. Exactly, exactly. Yeah. And it's really tough, I think for a lot of people to be able to overcome that for themselves. And that's really like what your books for. Right? Exactly, building those relationships and everything. So I love that. Well, so give us a little bit here, where where can people find your book?
David Morris 23:18
So
October 24, is National maintenance day.
And as I was researching some of the marketing things that I needed to do, because when you write a book, whether whether you're you know, I guess unless you're one of the the big authors that Stephen King's that that just right and there's a machine that does their marketing you gotta you gotta market and and I did I spent a little over a year trying to find a both literary agent and a publishing company and it decided to self published um, and and so the game plan was to to learn On the 24th, my cover designer has other clients that are much more important than I am. It's, I think worth a backup. So she she told me Wednesday she was pretty sure she was going to have it done this weekend. Yeah, but without a you know, so I need a couple three weeks of build up with some little bit of promotion stuff. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna take a mulligan on the 24th and do a soft launch that I
Josh Tapp 24:27
love it. Great way to spin it.
David Morris 24:30
Exactly. And so it'll be on Amazon. Okay, I have I, one of the things that I've done in my life is ay ay, ay, ay produced some some audio books and things of that nature. I've recorded my own audio book, and it will follow shortly. Okay, very rarely is that audio book ready exactly when the book hits print, but it won't be too long behind that. I've done all the reasons And I'm just waiting on the audio post work to get done. Yeah, but But yeah, so it will be it will be available there. My website is www dot gift of Mulligan's calm and there will there's nothing live their day but when I do the soft launch, I'll have links there that will take them to to Amazon and I'll put it in some other places trying to shoot for some international audiences as well and so
Josh Tapp 25:36
absolutely well we'll post it on that on our site as well and this episode actually won't go live for another couple weeks anyway so okay, hopefully a lot of people will be able to see it when when it's live. And then I will also just let me know when you launch it well, well advertised for you
David Morris 25:51
should appreciate that. That's
Josh Tapp 25:53
honestly one of the best ways we've seen for launching books especially is coming on places like this and getting into enough hands right Sure. So that's gift of Mulligan's calm. And I'll actually put a link to that in the description of the podcast. And so before we go though, Dave, what's what's what's your last parting piece of guidance? And then how can people connect with you?
David Morris 26:16
So they can connect with me on LinkedIn, you know, honestly, I don't have a huge profit motive behind this, you know, I'm 60 years old, and I'm just now launching my first book. I really like to, to impact people's lives. And so it would be awesome if this could hit some bestseller lists, not the Amazon bestseller because they're, it's so easy to do that. Yeah. You know, you just sell 12 copies in one hour on one day in one week and you're a best seller that has He Yeah, exactly. But but but in terms of lives that could be enhanced. I would love to to see this really get out there. Yeah. They can email me at Dave at gifted Mulligan's comm if if they, if this message at all resonates with people. As I, as I talked to, you know, I, I'm, I'm in some networking groups I meet with a lot of people. And I often when I just give the lip of what the books about I hear and said, Oh man, I could write help you write your second book to that or a chapter. Boy, did I need a second chance. And so, you know, I think that a movement could be started, if I say let's share are stories of second chances that we've been given that we've given others And let's let's be deliberate intentional about how we treat other people you know the the conversation the dialogue in the public square today is not friendly right doesn't matter which side of the of the argument anyone's on nobody is listening to the other side respectfully right and it's evidenced on our on our highways if I've got a little concept that that I'll have posted on my website that I call drive by Mulligan's. Yeah. Is you know if we get in the car and head to the office and we decide in advance that we're going to let people cut in front of us we're going to, you know, not lose our cool and we do it by giving a point value system. Maybe we just What what's my biggest problem driving in the car I can be the nicest guy on the street but I get behind the wheel and I turn into a raging lunatic right and and as I've done some speaking to groups and given them challenges to go out and try it and then email me back and tell me their experiences and I said one thing I promise is you will arrive at work calmer, lower blood pressure. And and it will be a happier start to your day and I haven't had anyone reach back out said no, what a lie. I couldn't do that. But we have to be intentional. be deliberate.
Josh Tapp 29:40
Yeah. Well, and honestly, I want to thank you first off for for being so genuine with us sharing that with you. And that's one of the reasons we want to to promote this book for you. We will be doing that here as well. So like just to our audience, you know, Dave's Dave's book is something that's coming from so many years of experience, it is the type of person you should be listening to when it comes to To You know, big principles like this. So we will be posting the links to all this Dave. And just let us know when you actually do the launch, we'll make sure that you know, our listeners are there for it. Thanks for coming on our show.
David Morris 30:11
Thank you appreciate being here.
Josh Tapp 30:12
Have you ever wonder which tools top entrepreneurs in your industry are using? Well, I've interviewed over 100 entrepreneurs and from those interviews, I was able to see which tools that pretty much all entrepreneurs are using. And we were able to create a resources page for you with all of these tools available too. So if you'd like to see the top tools and top trainings that we're going to be offering here at the lucky Titan, you can go to the lucky Titan comm slash resources to see this entire treasure trove of tools and trainings and everything else you're going to need. So with that, go over to the lucky titan.com slash resources.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Killer Resources 

  • Free Podcast Matchmaker: Get your business seen on top podcasts for FREE! 
  • 30 Day Challenge: Let me help you get your first (or next) 100 paying fans in the next 30 Days!
  • Workapp: Advertise your business for free on the this amazing platform!

Subscribe

Copyright © 2020 - The Lucky Titan