065 - Master Your Language To Master Your Business With Tiffany Toombs





Show Notes

Josh Tapp 0:00
What's up, everybody? Josh Tapp here again, and welcome back to the lucky Titan podcast. So today we have Tiffany Toombs on the mic. Tiffany is here to share with us how to master your language to master your business. So Tiffany, let's hop right in. Right, Tiffany? So tell us one thing about yourself that most people don't know.
Tiffany Toombs 0:20
I would say the thing that most people don't know, until you really get to know me is that I'm actually a total introvert. Like on social media and in life, I appear to be this total extrovert who's like, always loud, always around people. That's totally not who I am, like, give me an empty apartment and a book and like not talking to a lot of people. And I'm totally cool with that.
Unknown Speaker 0:44
I'm that same way. I think it's the entrepreneurial
Tiffany Toombs 0:46
curse for a lot of us, right? Absolutely. And it's a polar opposite to my husband who loves to be around people all the time. And so he's like, no, let's go out around more people. I'm like, I don't want to
Josh Tapp 0:59
you have too many to somebody like that, because my wife does the same thing. I love going out rock climbing, doing fun things, right? But she, I don't ever get off my butt to go do it. So I'm either working or am I just want to sit here and be lazy? So she comes out and says, let's go do this thing like, Oh yeah, let's do it. Why not? You know, I think you need an extrovert in your life for that reason. Yeah, for sure. Well, that's awesome. Well, so Tiffany, the reason I brought you on and we both know this is to kind of talk to us about NLP in relation to entrepreneurship. A lot of entrepreneurs will get kind of bogged down saying, Oh, well, that's something I really need. But even just learning one tip from you is something that's actually changed our entire messaging, and help improve our messaging to better resonate with our audience. So I really want to delve into your process and how you really leverage NLP and entrepreneurship.
Tiffany Toombs 1:45
So really, one of the like, core pillars of NLP, it's the L is the linguistic is the communication side. And the more that I study communication, and the more that I studied people, because I'm Maybe this is an introvert me, I love people watching. I've got these like huge windows in my apartment. So I can just like sit and watch people at the park. It's awesome. It's nice to get like some binoculars. But the more I study people, the more I realized is that communication is a daily habit that we all have. We're like, we're never not communicating in some way, whether it's to ourselves or to other people. And it's the one thing that we never actually learn, like we, you know, we just start talking one day we open our mouth and words come out. And people on the other end are so excited that we've said our first word that they don't ever actually teach us how to communicate. And so when we don't realize the impact that words have on our own mind, the ones that we say to ourselves, what we say to other people, the messaging that we put out in our marketing and whatnot, then we're less in control of how impactful or powerful that message can be. So to give you an example, like we have 15 100 words a minute that passed through our head. And those words then get transferred into pictures in the mind, which our mind our unconscious mind then seeks more of. And so if we're saying the wrong words to ourselves, then we create a totally different reality. I'll give you an example. And working with a client who is transitioning out of the restaurant business into out of running restaurants into coaching and speaking, and her language is always about focusing on what she doesn't have. So yesterday was her birthday, I sent her flowers, and she messaged me and she said, thank you so much for the flowers. My own dad didn't even wish me happy birthday today. And so like, it went from being like this really positive like grateful message and totally spun it into the negative. And what happens is when we communicate with ourselves in that way, every thought releases a hormone in the body. Then and it's either a good hormone or it's a stress hormone. That's kind of our two options. And then that hormone causes us to feel a certain way, which then causes us to think and communicate more like that. So if we even start our day as entrepreneurs, with a negative thought, then the way that we communicate with everyone else for that day comes from a place of like stress and anxiety, as opposed to a place from like, of gratitude and abundance, and happiness. So it really all starts with us, especially because so many entrepreneurs want to be the leader in their communities or in their industries. We definitely have to get to communication with ourselves right first.
Josh Tapp 4:41
Yeah, that is incredible. When I think like you said, so I mean, you've worked with over 300 people, are those all entrepreneurs or is it kind of all walks of life you've worked with?
Tiffany Toombs 4:51
A the bulk of my clientele have been entrepreneurs or people who are wanting to leave corporate america and they have like that negative self talk the imposter syndrome. The I'm not good enough. And so we work together to reprogram those thought processes and get rid of those beliefs so that they can then launch into their entrepreneurial journey.
Josh Tapp 5:10
Yeah, one, you mentioned a couple things in there that I think every entrepreneur deals with. I've actually had quite a few people on my show to come and talk about overcoming impostor syndrome because that's the number one problem people have. You know, they they look at, you know, people like you and me who we've worked with some pretty high level people and oh, man, you're so cool. How did you that it's like, no cooler than you I just reached out to people, you know, it's all about overcoming that imposter syndrome. So is that kind of one of the core pieces that kind of, I guess is common with all of your clients.
Tiffany Toombs 5:40
imposter syndrome is the biggest one, I would say the biggest limiting beliefs that I see is like the not good enough, not worthy. No one will want me so I won't get any clients. I'm only gonna have haters that kind of ever own. Everyone will reject me. And then the other side that I see is this like If I'm not struggling, or if it's not hard, then I'm not motivated. I see, like so many entrepreneurs have to have their back against the wall in order to produce or to sell or to be motivated to put out content or whatever it is. And as soon as they start climbing up that mountain, and they start seeing the results, and they start seeing the fruits of their labor, they like throw themselves back down, because there's this belief of having to be in struggle. So I talk with a lot of my clients about wherever you are today becomes the new baseline like this is your rock bottom, as part of the process of reprogramming that so that you don't have to throw yourself into bankruptcy to be able to build yourself up again, or you don't have to be just about homeless before you can make that sale.
And it really comes from what we tell ourselves.
Josh Tapp 6:52
Yeah. Wow. And I really like that. I mean, that just even reframing is, this is my rock bottom. That's really interesting because you can really do that. at any stage of life, I mean, you could have made a million dollars plateaued. Or you could be saying I'm at zero about losing everything. Yeah. and everything in between. Is that kind of what you're saying is like today's rock bottom?
Tiffany Toombs 7:11
Yeah, absolutely. So if today I made $10,000 in sales, then that becomes the new baseline. Or if I have $10,000 in the bank account, that becomes the new baseline, like move that money to an account where you can't easily access it. I'm obviously not saying like, put it suspended or put it somewhere where you can't access it for five or 10 years. make it difficult for you to access so that you can't, you know, go on a shopping spree or you know, you can't get stuck on Amazon and just buying stuff, you know, whatever, whatever way it is that you self sabotage, whether it's retail therapy, or booze or whatever it is, you know, the ways that you self sabotage, make that money less accessible for you. And so that when you look at your normal bank account, the one that you look at Most often, there's just enough in there to pay things. Right. And that creates this feeling of my backs against the wall. So then I'm motivated. Obviously, we want to clear that belief, because that's not a great place to always be working from. Right? While we're in the process of getting rid of that belief system. set yourself up for success by making today the baseline.
Josh Tapp 8:22
Yeah, that's really awesome. And have you seen that that works pretty well for people to feel like they're kind of they have their back to the wall.
Tiffany Toombs 8:30
It does. And so there's two types of motivation. Most people focus on having away from motivation, which means that they need that pain pushing them from where they are. So you have the person who's 50 pounds overweight, and all of a sudden, they can't walk up the stairs. They can't bend over and put on their shoes and that the pain of being where they are motivates them to take action to get to the gym. The thing with away from motivation is it's really great at getting you started. it it's not sustainable though, because as soon as that pain is no longer there, you have no motivation. So we see people who are 50 pounds overweight, they lose 25, all of a sudden, they're down a couple sizes, they have more energy, they're able to do things they haven't been able to do in years. And the motivation fades, right? So that's where we need to work with somebody to then flip into towards motivation, so that the thing that they're moving towards, is so emotionally charged for them, that it pulls them to it. So and what a lot of studies have found is that a lot of people chase money, you know, chase that million dollar dream or whatever, without understanding the meaning behind that money. And so then once they get there, they don't feel fulfilled, and then they continue chasing money. It's like a bride. So an example of towards motivate motivation. I'm getting married in August. So now I'm starting to think about like, Okay, I need to look good in that dress. So it's great motivation for me to get my butt in the gym and not miss a session. Right? The thing is, is once that wedding hits, we want to find something else. So what I talk about with a lot of entrepreneurs is understanding your highest purpose. So having a million dollar business is great. What does that mean? Right? What What does that equate to? And you can do this with people that you're looking to sell as well. If you're talking about making somebody else's business more money, a lot of people have a lot of crap around money. I'm sure you know that. And you've seen that with like minded people and, you know, so talking solely about money isn't enough. What will that money allow them to do? Right? Is it more holidays with the family? Is it a charity for veterans or domestic violence survivors or whatever? So my, my cause that I'm super passionate about is helping domestic violence women. My husband is really passionate about suicide prevention. And so for us, the days when we can Can't get out of bed for ourselves or retired or unmotivated, or we just don't want to, then we have all around our room, our, our goals and our highest vision. And so then we were not just getting out of bed for us, we're getting out of bed for that person who's about to commit suicide, or that woman who's in a toxic relationship, and she has no idea how to get out. And so that helps people switch so that they don't always have to be working with the back against the wall mentality and into something that they're inspired by that higher vision that it pulls them towards it. Wow,
Josh Tapp 11:36
that is awesome. Well, and so when when you help people overcome, you know, this imposter syndrome, I'm sure there's a big process to it. But are there like some specific tactics you can teach us here in this just to really help people deal with that imposter syndrome and overcome it?
Tiffany Toombs 11:52
Yeah. So the first thing is, is that somebody who's truly an imposter never deals with imposter syndrome like that. That's the first thing to know. It's kind of like a narcissist or a sociopath. Like if you're worried that you might be a sociopath, you're not. a sociopath doesn't have that ability. Right? So, an imposter doesn't worry about not being good enough, because they are being fake, like their intention is to go out there. And just, you know, scam people or whatever it is. Somebody who truly cares about people, which are the people who worry about impostor syndrome. It's because you're wanting to have that impact. Now, at the same at the same side of things, it's recognizing the self deception that comes into this. And there's actually a really great book out there that I don't think gets enough hype. It's called leadership and self deception. And it talks about how we deceive our So I've kind of combined the info that I learned in that with some other things that I know. But basically, whenever an emotion comes up, we're kind of at a crossroads and we have a choice. So let's say I am feeling like I have imposter, like I'm an imposter have that imposter syndrome kicking in, I have a choice where I can give in to that delusion and just let it distract me and self sabotage and everything that goes with that, or I can go down the other road of asking myself, okay, so what what even does imposter syndrome mean to me, because for some people, it's, nobody's gonna like me, and for some people, it's, it's not safe to put myself out there and be an open book. And then for some people, it's not worthy. So those are really the three like universal fears that we all have to overcome is either no one will want me so I'll be rejected. I'm not worthy, or I'm not safe. And one of those three is ultimately the underlying thing. Underneath impostor syndrome, so we have to figure out like, which of those three is it for us? Let's say it's a, it's I'm not safe. It's not safe for me to put this content out in the world, this podcast episode, whatever, then I can ask myself, okay, what evidence do I have that that's true? What evidence do I have that I'm not good enough? And do I have any evidence to show that I am. It's really important for any entrepreneur, I think, to keep their testimonials close by, like I have a, an album in the photos in my phone, where anytime I touch base with a client, and they messaged me back and they say, Oh my gosh, that was amazing, or whatever it was, I screenshot it. And I save that into this specific folder so that the days when that imposter syndrome does kick in, I can go back and see that there's evidence to the contrary. And entrepreneurs I think can do a better job of proactively seeking out those testimonials. Because we tend to not want to bother somebody else we know how busy Our time is. So we don't want to be like, Hey, can you write me a testimonial? I mean, it can be as easy as checking in and saying, Hey, how are you today? Or like, you know, but being proactive in that, because the other thing is entrepreneurs is we typically only hear from our clients or customers when something's wrong,
Unknown Speaker 15:27
Tiffany Toombs 15:27
So that can start to weigh us down and shift our mindset into this space of not good enough. I don't really know what I'm doing because all these people are just constantly annoyed when instead if I'm proactively reaching out so for me with my one on one clients, I reach out after every session the next day so I'll and it's just if you don't know this and I don't know if Samsung can do it but an iPhone you can like create text like shortly You can shorten text. So I put in ci on my phone. And what pops up to the client is, how are you today, I just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling after yesterday's session. So it literally takes me two seconds of my time. Hey, so and so ci, and my phone fills in, you can just go to the keyboard in the settings on your phone, and you can put in like short text. And that person is appreciative because I've taken time out of my day to remember that they had a session and to check in on them. And whatever they send back becomes an automatic testimonial for me. And if there was an issue with the session, then I can proactively deal with it rather than waiting for them to come to me. So it's the best of both worlds. So I think that's one of the biggest things for combating imposter syndrome is to be proactive and to have those testimonials on hand. I mean, we're all going to have haters and I can sit here and say the, what they say about you is really about them and not about you. is absolutely true. But we've heard that enough times I want tools that you haven't heard before, right? So have those testimonials that you can go back to, that are evidence to show that you are good enough or that you do good work or that you are making an impact? So Did that answer your question?
Josh Tapp 17:17
Yeah, that was really awesome. I have like a full page of notes already. We're not even done yet. I have a lot of things I want to ask you. But that's really awesome. So I that's really helping people fix the problem with the now. Right. Okay. I'm overcoming impostor syndrome and everything. So that's working on them. So let's kind of flip the conversation a little bit. We're gonna talk about communicating with others, right? We talked about the copy that we write to people, that communication that you and I are having, for example, but, you know, one thing you've already taught me, you know, it's just one word. One word change, just changes everything for our copy, right? Taking, learn the word learn out of our copy and putting in discover, and that makes a huge difference. So let's talk a little bit about those and some comedic caching strategies are people can use,
Tiffany Toombs 18:01
for sure. So to talk on the one that you just said, we, I said at the beginning, we get pictures in our mind when we communicate. So when I say something to you, I say purple frog, you and the listeners now have a purple frog. Each listener is going to have a different purple frog, based on their experiences, their belief systems, what they believe purple is the truest form of purple. So what we want to do when we're communicating with other people is I'm a big believer and my mentor Marshall silver always says, wealthy people take responsibility for both sides of the communication. So if I'm communicating to you, it's my job to make sure that you understand what I'm saying. And if you don't, your only responsibility is to tell me Hey, I don't get it, and then it's my job to explain it in a different way. We kind of have this backwards in society where I say something to you and you don't understand. I'm like, well, that's your problem. Right and that and that's how a lot of people communicate and especially entrepreneurs, because we do tend to be so busy, we tend to talk at people and not check for communication and not take a minute to think, okay, if I say this, if I put myself in that person's shoes, how will they receive this communication? So with the word learn, like, what's the picture that you get in your head when I say learn
Josh Tapp 19:24
my boring English class in high school?
Tiffany Toombs 19:26
There you go. And I've asked a ton of people this question, and it always goes back to like English class math class, that high school bully or whatever. And it's a negative feeling. So even though consciously the person's like, Oh, I learned all these amazing things. It's important to remember that our unconscious mind drives our behavior and our unconscious mind has zero capacity for logic and reason. And it's all based on emotion. So if I say, hey, you can learn x, y and Zed and unconsciously that's causing To feel a negative emotion, you're less likely to buy from me. Whereas if I use the word discover, what picture do you have in your head? Now?
Josh Tapp 20:08
That's a hard one for me to discover. Ooh, finding something magical is so cool.
Tiffany Toombs 20:15
It's exciting to me. It's like flying, you know, I pictured myself traveling somewhere new, right? So discover is a lot more exciting. It's a lot more playful. It It is magical, right? It's like entices your imagination. And it's like, ooh, I wonder what this is going to be about and it makes people want to know more. So that's one example. I'm going to give you another example that a lot of people don't know and so many people get this wrong, is our unconscious mind is unable to process the word not. Or any derivative not. So don't can't, those all of those. So if I say, Don't think of a purple frog, what picture do you get? Yeah, purple frog, the purple frog. So a lot of people do this. And again, they're embedding the wrong thing into the unconscious mind. So people will say things like, don't hesitate to call me. What you've done is embed hesitate. So what you want to do is flip that to, please feel free to call me. I see a lot of people who are running ads for a sale or or a beta program or special pricing where they say, Don't miss this opportunity. Again, you're embedding missed the opportunity. You can use not to your advantage, though. So if somebody is saying this is hard, if you say no, it's not, you're breaking rapport with them, and they'll just go into this person doesn't understand the place. You know, it's it's going to be hard to pay for your services or your product or it's expensive. You can say, it's not easy. And what you're doing is on a conscious level, you're saying the same thing hard, not easy, same basket. Yeah, on the unconscious level, you're embedding the The suggestion that it's going to be easy, which then opens up their mind to finding the easy way to do it. You can also say something in your ad copy or your funnel copy, like, don't you want, because again, what the unconscious mind is hearing is you want whatever and then you put your bullet points there. So that's another big one that I see people getting wrong. Before you see testimonials, you can say don't take it from me. Because then you're saying Take it from me, and then you're going to give them social proof as well.
Josh Tapp 22:35
That is so awesome. Yeah, Mike, furiously jotting notes, to go back and listen to
Unknown Speaker 22:41
your nuggets. I could talk to you all day.
Tiffany Toombs 22:44
I talked in the courses I ran. I talked about this for days. So I have a ton of this seems like what Sid always sends me his ad copy. He's like, Can you just make sure I'm not embedding anything wrong here.
Josh Tapp 22:57
Man, I'm asked to do that for you to ask.
Tiffany Toombs 23:00
I need to start a service. Look at your copy,
Josh Tapp 23:03
man Yeah, you just came up with a whole industry right there
Tiffany Toombs 23:08
a lot of a lot of like the best copywriters they have training in NLP. So they know this and like you read an email from them and you just like feel pulled it. I mean, I know this stuff and I'll read certain emails and I'm like this person, they just they know.
Josh Tapp 23:24
I was probably not in my email I sent you. I have to go back and edit it now. That is awesome. Well, hey, I know we could go on for this kind of these sort of tactics all day, but like you said, you already have a course in place for this darn shoe. I do. So when our listeners know where they can get that because I think a lot of people would be interested in checking that out.
Tiffany Toombs 23:42
So I'm actually in the process of building out a language specific one with the NLP course that I have built right now you get a multiple a multitude of things, including like rewiring a belief and all of that. But anything that I have available on my website, you can go to www dot Blue Lotus. Mind calm so blue like the color Lotus like the flower minds like your brain calm.
Josh Tapp 24:06
That's awesome Blue Lotus mind calm. So everybody will definitely have to go check that out. I will put links to that in the description as well. And then can you give us one last parting piece of guidance? Right before we sign off.
Tiffany Toombs 24:20
You want it to be communication based.
Josh Tapp 24:22
It can be if you if you were going to die tomorrow. This Sunday, I'm putting you on the spot, but you're gonna die tomorrow and you had to give one last word of counsel or to be
Tiffany Toombs 24:33
that your thoughts create your reality. So if you don't like the reality that you have, ask yourself how you can see it differently. So the question why why is this happening? Why me It keeps you stuck? We call it why knowing what you should ask yourself instead is what and how questions. What do I need to learn from this? How can I get out of this? what lessons can I take from This What do I need to do to change? When you ask yourself those questions, you become more empowered, and it moves you from stuck to moving.
Josh Tapp 25:09
That is so awesome. Well, cool. I'm gonna send everybody over to Blue Lotus mind, I'm going to head over there myself.
Tiffany Toombs 25:16
Make sure it's updated, like the worst at updating. So if, if you're what you're looking for is not there. Just fill in the form and I can get you what you need.
Josh Tapp 25:25
Yeah, shoot me a message. I'll do it for you. I love that. Well, Sophie, thank you so much for coming on the show today.
Tiffany Toombs 25:33
Thank you for having me. It's been awesome.
Josh Tapp 25:35
The number one needle mover in my business is joint venture partnerships. Growing a following can be time consuming and frustrating. For that reason we created the tribe of Titans, the world's first joint venture matching platform. Using this free platform you can find guests for a podcast YouTube channel or Facebook group, or you can promote your brand product or service in one simple place. You can create your free accounts as tribe dot the lucky titan.com once again that tribe dot the lucky titan.com
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